The holiday season can be a complicated time for anyone. It can also be especially painful when you are grieving. While many people are celebrating, you may feel isolated, anxious, overwhelmed, depressed or even numb. It is important to acknowledge that grief does not pause for the holidays whether you’re mourning the loss of a relationship, a loved one, a pet, or another version of your life. 

You may feel pressure to be festive, but it is important that you remember that you do not have to pretend to be okay. Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling in the moment. All of your feelings are valid. 

Set boundaries. You don’t have to attend every event or keep every tradition. It is up to you to decide what you want to do. If something feels too hard, it is okay to say no. Grief changes what we need and it is okay to listen to those needs. 

Honor your loss. Light a candle, share a favorite story or memory, cook their favorite meal, or start a new tradition. Honoring your loss in a personal way may help to bring connection and healing into the space. 

Lean on your support system. Do not hesitate to reach out for support. Call a friend, talk to a family member, make a therapy appointment, or join a grief support group. You do not have to go through grief on your own and sometimes simply being heard can bring comfort and ease.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Grief is unpredictable. Some days can be harder than others. There is no right way to do the holidays, especially when you are grieving. Remember, you are not alone and you do not have to force yourself to move on or quiet your grief. Surviving is enough.