The loss of a beloved pet can be devastatingly painful. And yet, it can be overlooked by others. Know that your feelings of grief, loss, and sorrow due to the death of a cherished pet are valid and normal.
Grief can look different for different people and for each loss. Here are things you can expect as you experience during the grieving process and tips for coping with this grief.
The bond between pet and human
Our pets are more than just a “pet,” they become beloved members of our family. They bring companionship, loyalty, fun, and care into our lives. They can be with us through various stages of life providing unconditional love, support, and acceptance. Pet parents experience their own unique bond and relationship with their pets that others may not understand. People can generally empathize with others when they experience the loss of a loved one but with pets this grief can be dismissed, which can be immensely hurtful for the individual experiencing the loss of a furry friend.
Understanding the grief process
People process grief differently making it a very individual experience. It is normal to experience profound sorrow, loss, and shock during this time. Grief may also come in stages, which will include feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These feelings can be overwhelming and complex. It is also important to remember that grief is not a linear process and does not have a timeline. It can come in waves and feel acutely intense but overtime these feelings can lessen in intensity. However, even years after, grief can be triggered by anniversary dates, an image or a sound that can have these intense feelings of grief resurface.
Rituals and farewell ceremonies
Finding ways to memorialize and celebrate your pet’s life can be comforting for some people. Hosting a funeral or farewell ceremony can help you express your feelings and honor your pet’s life. If you choose a burial for your pet, you can decorate their headstone. If you choose cremation, you can scatter their ashes in a memorable place or keep them and create a special spot for them in your home.
Other things you can do:
- Write an obituary in your local paper
- Plant a memorial tree or flowers
- Make a donation in your pet’s name to a pet charity
- Create an album with your favorite pictures of your pet
- Have your vet create a clay paw print of your pet
Healthy Coping Strategies
Be kind to yourself. Your reactions and feelings are normal. You will need time to process and adapt to a life without your pet. Don’t ignore or bury your feelings and instead work through them by acknowledging your loss. You can express your feelings through poetry, music, or letters to your pet.
Surround yourself with people who can understand and validate your grief. This can be friends and family who also have pets they love or who have also experienced the loss of a furry friend. You can also consider joining a pet loss support group or join a pet loss online forum where you can talk to others who are experiencing the loss of a pet.
Keep routines and practice self-care. Maintaining daily routines can help keep structure and focus for you and other pets and family in the home. Eating healthy, exercising, and socializing can also help keep your mood up and provide strength as you work through your grief.
When to seek professional help
If your grief is constant and interfering in your ability to function and care for yourself, you can reach out to your primary care doctor or mental health professional for a mental health screening and additional resources.
Remember
Remember that grief does not have a timeline and can look different each time and for everybody. It is important to acknowledge and process your grief and loss to help you through this time. And, even when you feel you have made it to the other side of grief, there will be moments of joy and sadness, and grief that come up over time. This is a testament to the connection and strong bond you had to your pet.
Resources:
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement
Chicago Veterinary Medical Association Pet loss support helpline: 630-325-1600
