As therapists we have an integral role and responsibility to our clients to create a positive, respectful, unbiased, non – judgmental environment for all clients.

All clients come to therapy for one reason or another and it is up to the therapist to show support and engage the client where they are at. Many clients don’t have the support system they need or feel judged for their thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions by the people closest to them. This is not just amongst family, friends or significant others. It can also come from their boss, co-workers or other acquaintances. While the therapist/client relationship does not always guarantee a 100% successful outcome in therapy, it gives the best opportunity for clients to feel heard, empathized with and that they don’t have to deal with the stresses or challenges of life alone.

Here are a few things we a can all keep in mind when building relationships with our clients from the very first session to the very last one below:

1) Setting the tone for therapy in the early sessions

This goes for all clients whether they have been to therapy before, or this is their first time ever speaking to a therapist. How we set the tone in the very first session will often dictate the how a client reacts or feels about engaging with us going forward. Sometimes even when we do our best to be genuine, show unconditional positive regard, consistency, congruence with our clients they still may need something that we cannot offer. Some clients will still leave us and seek out other therapists to cater more towards what they need from therapy. If we are doing our best to introduce ourselves in the first session, going over the logistical things we need to go over and then making sure to engage the client as to what they are seeking therapy for then we have done our job. It is important in the very first session to demonstrate active listening, paraphrasing, normalizing, validating the clients feelings as they are describing the challenges in their lives as this will hopefully help them open up more.

2) Establishing safety and security in therapy

Many clients in our work sometimes come from backgrounds that were difficult and could be dealing with many different challenging situations in their life. Clients can also be struggling with long – term mental health concerns and are looking for somewhere safe to feel like they can express themselves without concern that they will be judged, laughed at or picked on for who they are. It is important for therapists to meet the client where they are. Clients can tell a lot by how their therapist comes across in the session whether it be in – person or virtual. If you look like you are not actively engaged, talking over the client, listening more to reply than to understand, speaking in a strict or even degrading tone, guilting or shaming the client then you are sending the wrong signals that could leave the client in tougher shape then before they came to meet with you. All clients need to feel valued and to feel like their therapist is a real human being as well. You are not there to be their friend, but you are there to support and assist them in navigating through whatever struggles they are facing in their lives.

3) Benefits of building rapport with clients

Building rapport can be a quicker or a longer experience depending on the therapist and the client interactions, behaviors and overall flow of sessions. It is essential for us as therapist to remain consistent in our approach in terms of how we show up for our clients. We cannot afford to be incongruent or inconsistent as it can cause destabilization in building the therapist/client relationship. Most of the time clients can tell if they are getting the full us or if we seem disinterested, distracted or not caring for their needs like we normally would during sessions. We still have to do our best to provide clients with a good experience in therapy. This benefits therapy as clients are more likely to open up more about things they might not have in the past, potentially motivate clients to work through difficult experiences with more hope and help maintain a respectful relationship between therapists and clients. When clients feel heard they are more likely to open up more rather than shut down.

4) Collaborating with clients in building treatment plans

Clients are there to receive support from us as therapists and one of the ways we can most effectively support clients is engage then in what they are seeking to get out of therapy. Our clients come to us with a spectrum of different challenges, difficulties, mental health issues that occur in their lives and the last thing we want to do is leave them hanging with no support towards their goals. We don’t want to waste our clients time or fill sessions with what we want for them. We always want what the client wants for themselves first, and we are not the experts in their lives, they are. In asking clients what they wish to achieve in therapy sessions we can better understand the areas of their life they want to achieve better in and help them construct goals that conducive in helping them. This can help clients feel motivation as they feel like the therapist is right there with them, not judging them and creating the most supportive atmosphere that we can.

5) Other aspects of building rapport

Other ways we should engage our clients is through the use of making eye contact, sitting up straight during our sessions (not slouching too much can come off as being somewhat disinterested), affirming behaviors such as head nodding to display listening, sometimes saying, “I hear what you are saying” or “I understand” can help with making clients feel more like the therapist is attentive during the session. Paraphrasing or even summarizing what you heard the client say, validating, normalizing our clients experiences can also contribute to clients remaining engaged in their treatment process and building more trust in the therapist. It can also be a good thing to ask clients for their feedback about therapy sessions from time to time as it can be helpful in gauging how clients are receiving the therapy they are being given and to see if anything needs to be adjusted. Sometimes clients will not volunteer this information so it is important to check – in from time to time to make sure they are ok with the experience.

 

By: Gianne Shah, LCPC